The Cure For Toxic Masculinity – Part 2: Caricatures
By Tierce Green
In part one of this discussion, we said the cure for toxic masculinity begins with a recalibration to what manhood was originally intended to be. A clear and compelling definition of real manhood can be a catalyst for a culture shift that will expose the counterfeit versions of manhood. Keep in mind that this isn’t a quick fix, but identifying the right target and implementing these timeless principles will begin to produce a significant and measurable difference.
Authentic Manhood is multi-dimensional and balanced. In 33 The Series, Volume 1, A Man and His Design, we offer a composite—a portrait of the total package—called the Four Faces of Manhood. We see them in Scripture and we see them in Jesus. They are The King, The Warrior, The Lover, and The Friend. Understanding how they operate and how they complement each other is an effective antidote for toxic masculinity. Here is a brief overview of the Four Faces::
The King Face reflects righteous energy. The essence of this face is leadership. It provides protection and direction for others. It loves what is right. The man who wears the King Face leads with integrity. And, he is a blessing to others.
The Warrior Face reflects courageous energy. A true warrior takes the initiative for a purpose greater than himself. He is assertive, but that assertiveness is submitted to God. He fights for the benefit of others. The man who wears the Warrior Face is a man of action, and his actions flow out of his submission to God.
The Lover Face reflects relational energy. This face is primarily associated with tender care for others and a willingness to be emotionally vulnerable. It allows a man to live in intimacy with the most important relationships in his life—his family.
The Friend Face reflects connecting energy, especially in his capacity to connect to other men. This face is critical for accountability and encouragement. The man who wears the Friend Face pursues character-shaping friendships.
Each of these faces can get twisted and morph into ugly caricatures like the distorted images in a carnival funhouse mirror. These caricatures are the faces of toxic masculinity.
When a man’s King Face is skewed too far to the right he can turn into a tyrant, a bully, or a dictator. He becomes self-righteous and argumentative. His power is perverted and his influence is corrupted. When skewed too far to the left, he becomes a compromiser, losing his integrity and character.
If the Warrior Face is skewed too far to the right, you get a destroyer. You get a guy who is abusive and harsh. The other extreme is a wimp. This is a guy with no backbone. He is quick to tap-out and surrender. He’s more concerned about his comfort than being courageous.
When the Lover Face is pushed too far to the right you get an overly-sensitive guy who still needs a pacifier. He’s still a little boy looking for someone to take care of him. Too far to the left and you get the typical, disconnected, detached, isolated man who is all in his head and rarely, if ever, genuinely present.
When the Friend Face is skewed too far to the right, you become a leech. You have a lot of needs, but you contribute very little. If you turn the dial too far to the left you become a loner—a guy who thinks he doesn’t need anybody because he’s got this.
All of these caricatures have been the faces of toxic masculinity since the Fall of Man. Turning the spotlight on them and giving them a name will expose these destructive versions of masculinity and help move us closer to the cure. For me personally, it helps to know where the ditches are in my journey toward authentic manhood. I want it to jerk my head around and keep me focused on what I was designed to be. The true and balance faces of real manhood: The King, The Warrior, The Lover, and The Friend.
Part 2 of 3. Adapted from 33 The Series, Volume 1: A Man and His Design. Learn more at authenticmanhoodinitiative.com